Sister Bernadette And Keeping The Offices
by Freud-Plato-SisterMonicaJoan
Summary: Sister Bernadette was both overdoing the prayers(says Sister Monica Joan) and skipping them (says Sister Julienne), a classic sign of a spiritual (or other) crisis. This story was prompted by a 100word challenge.


"You all look very nice. Have a lovely evening."

Sister Bernadette looks at the retreating girls. She turns to walk to the chapel. The remaining light of the day is playing on the walls.

 _"_ _It is our bounden duty to proclaim you as the Light_

 _with whom there is no alteration or shadow of change._

 _Enlighten our darkness as we reach the close of this day._ _"_

"Shadow of change." This phrase from the Vespers keeps ringing in her mind on her way to her room.

When she reaches her room, she sits at the mirror and sighs.

She starts to take off her wimple.

* * *

The bell is inviting to the chapel. Cynthia hears the call at the phone desk. She becomes aware of someone's presence in the clinical room.

Sister Bernadette sits by the autoclave with some instruments in the hand, lost in thought.

"Is something wrong, Sister Bernadette?" Cynthia asks. Sister Bernadette doesn't move.

A second call to the prayer is heard.

Sister Bernadette looks up to Cynthia with numb eyes.

"Give those to me. I will finish the sterilization," Cynthia says gently.

"Thank you, Cynthia."

Cynthia looks at her walking slowly to the chapel. " _Show us thy mercy, O Lord_ ," she whispers.

* * *

"It's too much. Mark my words. " Sister Evangelina declares. "Even though I was the matchmaker, I say she's trying too much. "

The conversation around the Nonnatus dinner table has strayed to the married life of Chummy and Peter. Chummy has turned the making of Peter's lunch a strenuous task. The radish stars make a good laugh.

"How can you say too much?" Sister Bernadette's voice is pinched, she speaks as in anger. "Sometimes trying too much is all we have."

Everyone turns to look at her.

She recovers and continues with a bland voice: "And I'll thank you to hand me the bread".

* * *

"Where are you going, Jenny?"

Jenny makes an awkward face. "To Jimmy's wedding, Sister Bernadette."

Sister Bernadette's lips twitch. She keeps her voice even: "I hope you….have a nice time."

"Thank you, Sister."

Jenny vanishes in the street. Sister Bernadette's lips keep trembling.

She walks to the chapel, which is empty. The light is dim. She recalls the fragile morning light last dawn at the Carters' and the glowing cigarette. His warm fingers brushing her fingers.

She keeps reciting psalms quietly, the centuries old refuge for Nuns.

Suddenly a verse overwhelms her. " _Joy comes in the morning._ " She bursts into tears.

* * *

" _The sparrow hath found a house_." Sister Monica Joan takes a seat by Sister Bernadette in the chapel.

Sister Bernadette smiles wearily and moves a little to make room.

The older Sister coughs. "Sister, I think an apology is due. It was unfortunate of me to interfere with your ongoing discourse with Our Lord."

"Perhaps it was unfortunate, but perhaps it was needed. I never know nowadays what I….need."

Sister Monica Joan regards the anxious form of her younger Sister in silence. Then she says: "After the summer fete, you surely have a chance to go to a retreat."

"Yes. A break at Chichester sounds fine. I just don't want to leave…Poplar."

"Poplar? It will remain here waiting for you."

There is angst in the sudden cry of Sister Bernadette. "But will he?" Aghast, she quickly continues: "Sorry, I mean Poplar."

She leaves the chapel hastily.

* * *

Timothy is sitting on the steps of Nonnatus House.

Sister Bernadette approaches him. "What is it, Timothy?"

"Dad is late again."

"Oh."

She sits down by his side. They remain silent.

The car arrives in the yard in high speed.

At the same time Sister Monica Joan opens the main door and calls for Sister Bernadette: "It is time to take the privilege of silence."

Sister Bernadette rises, casts an uneasy glance at the approaching Doctor and says a hurried goodbye.

In the car Tim asks: "Dad, what is the privilege of silence?"

Doctor Turner takes one last look at the closed door. "The prayers, Tim. "

He sighs, and starts the car.

* * *

Shelagh is lying on the sofa with the Teddy baby on her and speaks softly: " _Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it._ _"_

She keeps repeating "too wonderful for me."

"What is too wonderful?"

Patrick stands at the doorstep and his eyes rest at the sight of the mother and child.

Shelagh beckons him to join them. He sits down and caresses Teddy's head.

"Patrick, I was reciting a psalm. The Lord's works are too wonderful."

Patrick smiles and lifts his hand to caress his wife's cheek. "So they are. So are you. "


End file.
